Dear Agnes,
I’m someone who thrives on plans and structure. I always want to know what’s coming next and what steps I should take to get there. But lately, I’ve felt stuck. I don’t have a clear vision for my career or my personal life, and it’s making me anxious. I keep trying to force clarity by reading self-help books, journaling, and brainstorming, but nothing seems to click. I know I need to be patient, but it’s so hard to trust that the answers will come in their own time. How can I let go of control and allow wisdom to unfold naturally?
Yours,
Overthinking Oracle
Dear Overthinking Oracle,
You’ve been showing up with great sincerity, seeking inner understanding, taking action, staying engaged, trying to listen for the next true step. Your devotion to your own growth is clear, and that kind of care is powerful. But it also sounds a bit tiring. I sense a twinge of efforting beneath your words.
Your note carries wonderful insights. It’s remarkable that you recognize what processes usually work for you. Many people never get that far. So when a trusted method like future planning stops delivering its usual clarity, it’s worth paying attention. Something is asking you to loosen your grip, shift your approach, and begin thinking in a new way.
If it feels so hard to trust that the answers will come, that’s worth getting curious about. Ask yourself the following questions:
What’s making that trust feel so difficult?
What am I telling myself in the silence?
What do I fear might happen if no clear answer appears right away?
I recommend that you do not treat these questions like puzzles to solve. Consider them as invitations to open to learning. As you sit with them, allow space for answers to arrive in their own time.
You may discover stories and (false) beliefs like:
If I don’t figure this out soon, I’ll fall behind.
If I can’t make a plan, I’m not safe.
If I don’t feel certain, I must be doing something wrong.
It’s okay to feel uncomfortable outside your usual rhythm. But instead of forcing the next step, try this fresh approach, use the questions, and get curious about why your trusted ways aren’t working right now. That shift in attention might be the true unlock you are looking for.
And that shift may begin with a pause. A breath. A leaning into “I don’t know the answers.” For someone who thrives on structure, that can feel uneasy. But not having the answers might not mean you’ve lost direction. This may simply mean that direction wants to reach you differently now.
Wisdom doesn’t always speak in logic. Sometimes it comes through the body. Through sensation. Through stillness. When mental strategies stall, it’s often a sign that a deeper source of knowing is stirring.
I suggest that you let presence be your next plan. In addition to getting curious, as I suggested a little earlier, you can also start with small changes. Let your body lead for a while. Take a walk without trying to fix anything. Cook something simple. Rest with intention. Follow what feels nourishing, so that you can reconnect with the wisdom that’s already alive in you.
And when the familiar drive to figure it all out comes knocking, as it likely will, meet it kindness and self-compassion. Say to yourself: I don’t need to push to find clarity. I can get curious instead.
Clarity is not gone. It’s simply arriving differently now.
In loving support,
Agnes